By iKids Putrajaya and Cyberjaya As parents,’no’ is one of the very important word in our dictionary. We have an authority to say ‘no’. The word ‘no’ is so crucial as it is a tool to control our children.
“Mummy, can I have chocolate before I get my lunch?” The mummy said, “No!” “Mummy can I play video games before I finish my homework?”, “No!” “Mummy can I go to the playground after I get back from school?”, “No!” “Mummy can I….”, “No!” Saying ‘no’ terminates a conversation. It’s mean full stop. No more argument. In fact, it’s mean ‘shut up!’ If we always say ‘no’ during conversation with children, at the end of the day, they don’t want to ask anymore. Because they know that if they ask, they already know the answer, which is a ‘no’. When a child stop asking question, this is the beginning of what we call the curse in parenting. Questioning and answering is a process of thinking. The thinking itself is the process of questioning and answering, which occur in our mind. The culture of inhibiting a child to argue by asking question is the process of discouraging their thinking process. Instead of saying ‘no’, say more ‘yes’. Saying ‘yes’ will initiate things. Saying ‘yes’ will extend the anwering and questioning activity. Saying ‘yes’ lengthening the argument between you and your child thus promoting their thinking process. So back to the conversation between you and your child, Child: “Mummy, can I have chocolate before I get my lunch?”. Mum: “YES, of course you can BUT don’t you think having the lunch first is a better idea?” Child: “WHY mummy, WHY not?” (See!! the thinking activity in the ‘Why’) Mum: “Because….” (Believe me the conversation will be forever!)
The process of argument between you and your child is actually a process of promoting thinking activity. Furthermore, it’s fun. You will remember this moment as they grow up. We at iKids believe in nurturing the thinking habit in children through the argument process and the questioning-answering activity. Our children are encouraged by their teachers to have healthy argument. It is our culture to promote thinking by asking questions.
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iKids- childcare, preschool, kindergarten, tadika, taska @ Cyberjaya and Putrajaya
Say No to No and Say Yes to Yes. Tips on how to encourage you child to think
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